Luke 24:30- my year in Sydney

It may seem a little too early to reflect..but just felt a tugging in my heart to conclude my year ( as I make my permanent exit from 6A/6 Georges Avenue:P)

Luke 24:30
“As they sat down to eat, he took a small loaf of bread, asked God’s blessing on it, broke it and gave it to them. Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized Him. And at that moment He disappeared!”
As I spent my first Good Friday out of home and Trinity, I recounted the many “firsts” I have had thus far after arriving in Australia to pursue my studies. First Chinese New year with friends, first Christmas party I organized, my first meal that I cooked myself and my first baking session when I nearly burnt my house down. I had the very first taste of living overseas alone, living with friends who became strangers overnight and having to learn to cope with the many “sudden” incidents. How exciting is studying overseas!!
Having been in Australia for close to 10 months, my experience is like that described in verse Luke 24:30- Taken, blessed, broken and given. I was taken into the hands of God and received prayers and letters of blessings before I left Singapore. The first few months in Australia was close to a scary place called hell..haha.. The misunderstandings that arose from different lifestyles and values made 3 of my housemates shift out of my current accommodation. The struggle to fit within the church and the campus ministry and dealing with school demands did not really help with the process of settling down. I never felt so vulnerable, and all I could do was call upon God’s name and pray even though I witness the deterioration of relationships and circumstances. After one incident has appeased, another came along. Those were not big hurdles. The greatest one came when a very treasured friend whom I really trusted, broke an important promise and got me hit rock bottom. It got so bad, I did lose my faith in believing that God will come and rescue me. My desperation drove me to tears and I will sit in my room calling out to God silently because I was so afraid He will not answer. Then He came and called out my name, whispered into my ears, “I am giving you a promise now while the seed is still in the barn, before you have harvested your grain and before the grapevine, the fig tree and pomegranate and the olive tree have produced their crops. From this day onward, I will bless you.” Haggai 2:19
Bearing the brunt of all the rumours from the happenings was really challenging. I was challenged not to retaliate in language even when I underwent verbal attack from people whom I thought were good friends, I was challenged not to hate when they set out to teach me a lesson for the flaws that I had. The anger crept into me and made me gave up in believing these are people that deserve forgiveness. However, He called me to love them in all circumstances because Jesus did. 1 Corinthians 13: 13 “There are three things that will endure- faith hope and love and the greatest of these is LOVE.” When He chose to die on the cross even when people did not accept Him, it was love that kept him on the cross for men’s sake. If Jesus could still love these scary people who crucified Him, surely I can love these people no matter what they had done- Love the sinner and not the sin.
It was a humbling process- breaking of pride and surrendering my rights to hate and fight for what was my rightful way to address the grievances I suffered because of people’s actions. I asked God why I am the person who has to go through all these things. The breaking of every aspect of my life took a toll on my emotion basket. I got into really weird moods that my friends could not bear to see at times. 2 Corinthians 12:8- “Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, “My gracious favour is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.”
I really did not want to love them for all the bad reasons I could give. I chose to but I struggled to love. My daily prayer was like Jesus did when He hang on the cross- Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive these people because they do not know what they are doing.” Then I looked upon that cross and He asked me- John 21: 15 “Do u love me?” 21:17 “Lord you know everything. You know I love you.” Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.”
I envisioned that coming to Australia will be all fun and rosy, exciting things that will happen in my life. Fun and rosy things there were, but the tough times that came along were really tremendous testing of my faith in Jesus, my love for people and my focus on the race. 1 Peter 1:7 – “These trials are only to test your faith to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. If your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trails, it will bring you much praise and glory and honour on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”
The most amazing part of this journey- The love I chose to show, to people who were against and misunderstood me, liberated me from fear. “Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment and this shows that His love has not been perfected in us.” 1 John 4:18-19
“Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” 2 Corinthians 12:10”
As I look back on the things that have happened, it may seem like it’s all over but the hurt that has been done will take time to heal. The greatest joy was to know that even as I endured the past 10 months of seemingly never ending pain- I grew stronger because of the love of God that taught me to forgive and love. As Luke 24:30 states, as I was taken into the hands of my Father, blessed and broken by His grace, so that I can be given to do the will and work of God in this world that so needs the love of our Father in Heaven.